


The Allure

by And_Dream_Of_Erebor



Category: Miranda (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-21
Updated: 2013-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-05 09:57:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1092547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/And_Dream_Of_Erebor/pseuds/And_Dream_Of_Erebor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little addition to the Series 3 finale:  that fateful evening at Gary's restaurant, Miranda receives not two, but three proposals.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Allure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [darklioness82](https://archiveofourown.org/users/darklioness82/gifts).



Stevie placed the finishing touches of blush on Miranda's cheeks, then carefully wiped the excess off with cotton wool. She bent her head to one side, narrowing her eyes in a thoughtful expression not unlike the one she would have while presenting her development plans for the shop to a cvery uninterested Miranda.

"Not bad," she said.

The grand opening of Gary's restaurant was to start in an hour. Stevie had insisted on helping Miranda with her make-up, ignoring her protests ("I'm perfectly capable of putting on my own make-up, thank you very much! Do you think I have the brains of a three-year-old?" "Well..." " _Rude!_ ")

"Now let me curl your eyelashes," said Stevie.

Miranda's eyes opened very wide when she saw the eyelash curler in Stevie's hand.

"Are you mad? I don't want THAT anywhere near my eyes! What are you, the Spanish Inquisition?"

"Oh, don't be such a baby, Miranda! It's not a torture device. Your eyelashes don't feel pain."

"How do you know? I might have very sensitive eyelashes," Miranda said, attempting to flutter her eyelashes in a delicate manner. Stevie did not seem impressed.

"Now shush and let me do this," she said.

"No! If it's so painless, why don't you ever curl your own eyelashes?"

"I don't need to," Stevie said and tossed her hair in an infuriatingly glamorous way. "I've got The Allure!"

"Well, I might have The Allure too!"

"Not in such abundance! I can tell because have a very strong allurometer. You barely register. You're allure-deficient."

" _Rude!_ " Miranda turned away from Stevie, arms folded. Then she glanced at her again and said:

"Well, if you're so allure-abundant, how come you don't have a boyfriend? "

Stevie said nothing, but she looked at Miranda with such a hurt expression that Miranda finally allowed her to curl her eyelashes.

* * *

 

The reader is probably familiar with what happened at the restaurant that fateful evening: Miranda's anguished declaration of love for Gary, Stevie creating a most unhelpful diversion by snogging Gary, and Miranda taking vengeance in the cruelest way she could think of: by snogging Gary Barlow, who had conveniently entered the restaurant at that precise moment.

The reader will also be familiar with Miranda's attempt to travel to Wick on a whim, which didn't quite work out as planned - instead, it worked much better than planned, because Gary appeared at the station at the last moment to ask her to stay. True, he was a minute late and he missed the train but, luckily, so did Miranda, so it was all for the best.

* * *

 

Upon returning to the shop, Miranda found Stevie sorting out a shipment of wooly, sheep-shaped cushions.

"Stevie, Stevie, Stevie, Stevie, Stevie, Stevie! You'll never guess what happened!"

Stevie looked up from the pile of cushions just for a moment, distinctly unimpressed. "Shouldn't you be in Scotland?"

"Well, hello and nice to see you too, Stevie! I was expecting a warmer welcome."

"You've only been gone for half an hour! And you messed up my counting now, I'll have to start all over again."

"Be careful not to fall asleep!" Miranda said and laughed, but Stevie didn't join in her laughter.

"Fall asleep... Because you are counting sheep... No? Nothing?"

Stevie gave up on counting the cushions. She stood up straight and looked at Miranda through narrowed eyes.

"I still haven't forgiven you for snogging Gary Barlow, you know."

"You can't seriously be angry about that! I only did it because you kissed _my_ Gary!"

"I was trying to help!"

"Oh, trying to help, were we? You were enjoying it too much!"

Stevie's eyes narrowed even more. "Excuse me, how do you know I was enjoying it?"

"You _lingered_!" Miranda cried.

Stevie threw the sheep-shaped cushion she was holding onto the floor and stomped her foot in anger.

"How many times do I have to tell you? There was no lingering! In fact, if there was any lingering going on at Gary's that night, it was you when you snogged _my_ Gary!"

"May I remind you, my diminutive friend, that Gary Barlow is not, strictly speaking, _your_ Gary? And, besides, there was no lingering! It was a little peck on the lips, that's all."

"Peck on the lips!" Stevie sounded outraged. "That's just... That's such a... Wait! Stay here!"

She marched off to pick up a wooden stool from behind the counter, marched back and positioned it in front of Miranda.

"What are you..." Miranda started.

"Shush!"

Stevie climbed onto the stool, placed her hands on Miranda's shoulders and said:

"Now, pay attention! I would like to present to the court exhibit A! When I kissed your Gary, it was like this!"

She leaned in and pressed her lips on Miranda's, throwing her arms around her neck. After a few moments she withdrew. Miranda said: „Stevie!“in an astonished voice, but Stevie ignored her.

"And now I would like to present exhibit B. This is how _you_ snogged _my_ Gary!"

Again she leaned in for a kiss, this time longer and more passionate, until she kicked off the stool and they both fell down on top of the heap of sheep-shaped cushions.

"Stevie! Have you gone mad?" Miranda said, still trying to wrap her head around what had just happened.

Stevie lifted up her head from the wooly pile and said triumphantly: "What did I tell you?"

"How did snogging me prove anything? "

"There was lingering! "

"No, there wasn't! " Miranda said in an exasperated voice. " I mean, there was now, but there wasn't with me and Gary Barlow! Oh, you're not helping at all. I'm going for a drink at Gary's."

She marched to the door, but before leaving she turned and said:

"Nice lip-gloss, though. Strawberry, is it? Makes me a little bit peckish."

* * *

 

But that evening at Gary's would, as it turned out, do nothing to make Miranda's life simpler.

First, Michael – who was supposed to be in Africa – suddenly appeared, followed by a posse of Miranda's friends and family. He got down on one knee and said: "Miranda, will you marry me? "

Before Miranda could answer, Gary got down on one knee as well and said:

"Miranda, will you marry me? "

Then, while Miranda was looking from one suitor to the other and trying to form an answer, Stevie elbowed her way through the onlookers and she, too, knelt in front of Miranda.

"No, Miranda! You should marry me! I've known you for ages and I love you anyway! "

"What! Stevie! You love me? You're incapable of speaking for more than a minute without insulting me! You're even doing it now, while proposing to me! "

"Well, I do! " Stevie said. "Go on! Choose one of us! And I'm not trying to influence your decision or anything, but my offer is clearly the best. I'm smart and glamorous and allure-abundant! "

Gary and Michael spoke at the same time: "No, my offer is the best! "

"This is the best day of my life! " Miranda's mother said. There were tears of joy in her eyes. "Three marriage offers! Don't get up, the three of you! I want to take a what-I-call photograph with my eye-patch. Miranda, smile! "

Miranda sighed in frustration.

"First of all, Mum, everyone calls it a photograph. Second, it's an iPad, not an eye-patch. And third, would everyone please stop pressuring me? I need to think about this. Thank you! "

She marched to the door and started down the stairs, then her head reappeared in the doorway just long enough to say:

"Did you see that? I didn't trip and fall. For once I've managed to make a proper dramatic exit! "

* * *

 

Tilly, who had been sipping wine in the corner with Stinky and her fiance "Dreamboat" Charlie, cried out:

"Three proposals in the course of an evening! How is this possibilos? Quick, Charlie, propose!"

"What, to Miranda?"

"No, sillingtons!" Tilly said and slapped him on the arm. „Me! Propose to me! And you too, Stinky!"

Stinky stared at her. "But... Tilly! I'm happily married!"

"Get a divorce! This is an emergenzione! I will not be out-proposed by Queen Kong!"

"There is nothing you can do about it, Tilly," Stinky said, looking at the door through which Miranda had made her dramatic exit. "Queen Kong's got The Allure."


End file.
